A post inspired by someone else's blog (Tromsø, Norway)

Norwegians are, I guess, famously reserved, which I failed to notice until I read this blog post by Jessica, the younger sister of one of my good friends in Minnesota, who is spending a semester in Bergen. I thought, "But people here have been so friendly! But they've helped me when I've been lost!" Then I thought, "BUT. BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN IN A SINGLE NORWEGIAN'S HOME." (Brynjulv's apartment doesn't count, because, being a CouchSurfer, he's not, you know, normal.) And then, even worse, "BUT I HAVEN'T EVEN DONE ANYTHING SOCIAL WITH A NORWEGIAN." No coffee, no walk, no romp through the snow.

This was a blow to me. My impression that people here are, in fact, friendly and helpful, even friendlier and more helpful than the people in Bergen whom Jessica describes, was backed up by several other people, some of whom said, "Well, it makes sense! The southern parts of the country have been relatively densely populated for a long time, but in the north, many people have come from other places to work, and the help-thy-equally-lost-neighbor legacy lives on." I've experienced the present-day version of help-thy-equally-lost-neighbor, which is help-this-equally-lost-foreigner. On the streets and in cafes, fellow foreigners just talk to me, or vice versa. I've met people from Eritrea, Iran, Gambia, and other parts of the world in public places; we are magnetically attracted to one another. (And it's not hard to find foreigners here; over half of Tromsø's residents aren't originally from Tromsø.)

But we repel Norwegians, who are friendly and helpful, but, I guess, famously reserved, even here in Tromsø. They will show me how to get to the library, but they won't ask where I'm from. And they will smile back if I greet them, but wonder if I'm a little off my rocker. It took me a long time to understand the distinction between friendliness/helpfulness and openness. Sometimes I still mix them up.

(Writing about this, I'm reminded of a hilarious incident in Pavel's dorm kitchen. He had just moved in, and we were having lunch at the table, discussing Norwegian reservedness, when a tall, Norwegian-looking guy walked in and started preparing his meal. Pavel asked where he was from. "Here." Then Pavel asked, "And do you think Norwegians are reserved?" And the Norwegian said, "Maybe . . . maybe we are reserved. But I don't know why." Then: SILENCE. End of conversation. He turned his back on us to finish doing the dishes. I think this was the real answer to the question.)

Fortunately, some Norwegians break out of the reservedness mold! They crack the shell of reticence! They smash the wall of polite disinterest! I was lucky to meet TWO of these in the past week. One I've mentioned already: Kristin, whom, it seems, I was fated to meet. We first met on the street when I asked a man walking by Brynjulv's apartment how recycling in Norway works (it's great! five colors of bag, each for a different material!). This man is Abbas, and we became friends while we walked into town. This was possible because we are both foreigners and therefore magnetically attracted to each other. He is from Iran, but has been studying engineering in Norway for a few years. Walking with us was his son, Salman, and behind us came his wife, Maryam, and Kristin, their friend and neighbor. I explained to them what I was doing here; we agreed to have dinner sometime; I hoped to see them again.

And a few days later, I did see Kristin again! On Wednesday we both attended the first meeting of Tromsø's chapter of Save the Children, and I discovered that she speaks near-perfect Spanish. That night we took our relationship to a whole new level when we facebook-friended each other, and I learned from her profile (how much more intimate can you get?) that one of her favorite books is Michael Ende's The Neverending Story, which has long been my all-time favorite book in the world. This boded well for potential friendship. On Sunday we spent the whole afternoon together at the Tromso Museum and later at Salman's 5th birthday party (about which I'll write in another post -- this one is supposed to be just about Norwegians), and actually BECAME FRIENDS. She's coming over for dinner on Thursday -- this is, in case you don't know, something FRIENDS do -- and at some point in the near future I'll be allowed to enter her apartment. She insisted that it was too messy when we stopped by there on Sunday.

My first Norwegian friend! And an invitation to a Norwegian home! The second invitation came later on Sunday night, at the TIFF volunteer party, which I spent entirely with Maiten and a Norwegian woman named Tove, fellow volunteer at Fokus Kino from Monday to Wednesday of last week (again, I'll write about the film festival in another post -- this one is about Norwegians). Tove is kind and tolerant of my obsession with the northern lights, which I've still only seen twice, and she invited me to eat with her sometime next next week. This is particularly exciting because her children are all much older than I am, which means that she is much much older than I am, and I love spending time with People Who Are Not My Age (and who are usually calmer and wiser than People My Age, myself included). There's just so much to learn from everyone.

So: This week was groundbreaking. I was invited to TWO Norwegian homes -- I didn't even have to threaten them! -- and made friends with the Norwegians who live in them.

Yesterday I said that I had to write about people, movies, and Norwegian culture. This is the "Norwegian culture" post. I will write about "people" and "movies" sometime soon, but probably not today. My plan for today is to go for a walk in the snow, read and people-watch in the library, and eat dinner with Katarina and two of her friends. It's amazing that I manage to stay so serene while leading such a stressful lifestyle.